When all else fails...Squeeze the BABY!!!!

WWWAAAAAA!!!!! WWWWAAAAA!!!!!! WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
Man....you know how when you hear SOMEONE ELSE'S newborn cry, and you get all pouty and "Aww...Such a cute cry..."
IT AIN'T SO CUTE AFTER HEARING IT FOR 10+ HOURS!!!!!!! The high pitch "someone is killing me" screaming isn't cute when you have had to hear it for hours at a time all day...and your exhausted and sleep deprived. You have done all you know to calm the baby down and it's just not cutting it. I can honestly say I felt like a failure when I caved and called my husband and begged him to please come home. I couldn't handle it anymore. I was up since 4 in the morning with only 5 hours of sleep the day before and now only another 3 hours....Since 4 in the morning this kid cried and cried stopping only briefly to eat and if I was able to distract him for a few moments with toys, singing and swinging. I changed his diaper more times than I can count, put a little thermometer in his booty to help him poop (he didn't need to poop) took the boogers out of his nose, ignored him. When none of that worked, I spoke softly and bounced him up and down. And when that failed I sat on my couch, head in my hands and prayed to the Lord in heaven for peace or to at least help me figure out what was wrong with this baby. God has a sense of humor cuz that baby kept right on crying. So, I think "Hey! He likes baths!" So, I put nice warm water in his little tub and whip out the nice Mustella soap to calm him and into the tub he goes.
     Quiet. Peace. He kicks and splashes to his hearts content. I wash him and right as i am finishing him up...."WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAA!!!" YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! So, I take him out wrap him in his towel (quiet for about 2 minutes) and dress him amid screams and a tiny red face! I lay him down on my pillow and shush in his ear and he finally sleeps. I get a fitful sleep for 2 hours, nothing at all relaxing or refreshing since he wakes up every time the pacifier falls out. 2 Hours later, he wakes up and I can't take it anymore. He cries and I'm crying right along with him. What did he need? What more could I do? How much longer could I stand listening to my baby cry and feel completely helpless? Not much longer apparently. I called Lando. Asked to please come home. I couldn't take it anymore. I think he got home faster than when I said Landon was coming. He was home within an hour. He sent me off to bed and took over. I broke down. I got in bed and cried my eyes out, feeling like a failure. I mean, what mother can't calm he baby down? What mother didn't know what her baby needed?
     I fell asleep and slept for 4 hours. I slept long and deep. I woke up to more crying, but it was an "I'm hungry" cry. When I walked out of my room my house was CLEAN! I was beyond confused. The stacks of mail on the kitchen table were gone, the dishes all clean, the living room was spotless. I made a bottle and sat down to give to him. I was completely refreshed and ready to handle more crying. As I fed Landon I looked at my husband and asked "How did you get this house clean??" He says he walked around with the baby in his arms and cleaned...with ONE hand! Now THAT, my amigos, is talent! He put me and the baby to sleep and cleaned the house. I felt even worse. Not only couldn't I keep my baby happy but I couldn't keep my house clean. Fail fail FAIL. After Landon ate, he calmed down during American Idol and we had dinner. At night I read about swaddling being a good way to calm a crying baby because it reminds them of "home", the womb. I knew he liked swaddling because thats how he spent his days in the hospital; Nice and swaddled and warm. Nothing left to lose right? Ok, so let's squeeze the baby! Swaddling took 30 seconds (enough practice with the nurses in the NICU) and in another 30 seconds me and Lando were amazed! SILENCE!!! Landon was fully awake but he was actually quiet. I gave him his paci and at this point it was time to eat, so I fed him and off he went....He slept from 12-6am, nice and squeezed in his little cocoon. And today? I have my baby back.
     All thoughts of failure are gone. It's overwhelming at times and you give in to the bad thoughts. And it's OK. I felt like a bad mom for needing time AWAY from my precious baby, but, you know what? I'm not a bad mom. I'm a NEW mom. Caring for your own is a lot different than caring for other's kids. Those don't come home with you. But your own?? No exchanges or returns. All Sales Final. So, feeling like crap comes with the territory. And it's completely OK!!! I'm not a failure. I'm not a bad mom. I'm not an irresponsible wife. I'm not helpless. I'm not alone. I am learning, is all. Something new and unpredictable as a new baby will bring you down sometimes. Just remember to get back up again. And don't beat yourself up over it. As I was giving Landon his last bottle, I got the most amazing gift EVER. He looked at me and gave me the biggest smile he could. And that was all worth it.
Learn How To Swaddle Your Baby: Swaddling Your Baby